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What Prevents The Youth To Dare The Marriage
There comes a time in life when almost everyone dreams of one day getting married and setting down to start a family and to a home of their own. May be you have not yet got to this stage, or may be it is something very much on your mind. In many of our Somaliland generation, whether we think the time is right or not, it feels like parents are putting a lot of pressure on their sons and daughters to get married and to find the right person. Let just spend a moment to thinking about what all this can mean. The question is how can young Muslim men and women prepare for marriage? How are you going to choose the right person? What do you need to do to make the marriage work?.
There are two very important things which we can apply to any aspect of our lives, but which are especially important when we are thinking about marriage; the need to be honest about who you are and the need to be realistic about what you expect. When these factors are kept in mind all the other things seem to fit more naturally into place.
Marriage is some thing to be handled but needs care, attention, strong responsibility and dedication. It is not a simple game as many people may consider it, it is full of rough spots and motive force that sets people at work for the achievement of better life.
Economic Problems .
Economic problems play a decisive role in putting obstacles in the way of young people getting married these days. In country with high un employment rate, such as Somaliland,
It is hard for young people to find job immediately after graduating in universities. It might take him years before his salary is enough to save for his future marriage. With the financial pressures that face young men, some of them resort to traveling abroad to establish their career and make enough money to start a family. While others spent a good time of their life chewing Qat and setting eyesore places aimlessly. Those youth are completely forget about their future, even they don’t have the feelings about future marriage. All these economic and social expectations are transformed into obstacles because the more important requirements of marriage are neglected. As a result of over looking a man’s religious and moral character, many Somaliland marriages have been accepted solely on the basis of man’s financial status. Sadly , some, but not all, such marriages end failure, because the whom the family had accepted because of his financial status, but has no religious basis, and there fore, does not treat his wife and her family well. At other times, an honorable and respectable man is refused because of his insufficient financial status.
Along side financial difficulties are the social and cultural pressures that have become essential requirement for marriage to take place. Although Somali Lander’s have an existing culture which is very rich of wisdom. This culture determines the way in which people could do their social affairs. Somaliland’s have entirely different way of doing and holding their marriage ceremonies. For example when a man decides to marry, he sets of searching for a suitable woman who shares the life with him. Then the man his father and other members of his relatives set off to the girl’s house by proposing to the girl’s parents. After that they pay an amount of money as a gift called “Gabaati”. They also distribute “Gaaf” to the other people who are there. But today’s weddings have also become an integral part of the social acceptance of a marriage. Young peoples are some times pressured by their community to have an extravagant wedding, even when they can barely afford it. They are some times led to spend on a wedding so much money that they would have preferred to spend on more essential needs, but it is difficult to confront these family and community pressures, unless parents prepare their sons and daughters a better future and cheap marriage. In conclusion, I would like to remember the Somaliland parents for this hadith.
Abu Hurairah narrated that Allah’s messenger (peace be upon him) said, “When some one whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption”
Farhan Abdi Suleiman (oday)
University of Hargeysa
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